the kids table

At a dinner table in Palm Beach last weekend, I found myself surrounded by women—many of them a solid twenty years younger—who were, in every other way, entirely within my range. I could keep up. My outfits held their own. My pop culture references landed (mostly). I could survive, even thrive, in a Tracy Anderson class earlier that day without needing to dramatically reposition myself near the exit. There was no obvious generational gap in humor or energy.

And yet, over grilled fish and those meandering conversations about kids, relationships, and careers, something else asserted itself. More than anything I wore or said, it was my skin that revealed me.

My skin is practically autobiographical. Sun spots that read like passport stamps: Bali, Mallorca, Westhampton Beach, spring breaks in Mexico, long, golden weekends in Malibu watching my kids surf from morning till the lifeguards packed up their stands. Entire decades of sunscreen-free optimism, now presenting themselves with in-your-face clarity. The deep wrinkles and the sagging jowls? The ones that do not yield or levitate ever? They are there, etched in, unmoved by lighting tricks or good posture.

Meanwhile, across the table, amidst the supple dewiness, there was talk. Skin flooding, which sounded at first like a weather event but is, apparently, a very intentional layering of hydration (thank you, Ashley Mixon). Peptides—KLOW Copper, BPC-157, Matrixyl—and the hair-growth go-to Minoxidil (pretty much everyone I know is on it and I’m seriously thinking about joining them, although I am enjoying progress made with my LA-based hair guru Kadi Lee) were all discussed with equal parts reverence and casual fluency.

These beauty industry-entrenched women all possessed what I can only describe as doctoral-level exposure to products. Thousands, collectively. PR packages, trials, recommendations, back-channel endorsements. Entire bathroom cabinets that could rival small department stores. And yet, when it came down to it, there was a surprising, almost conspiratorial consensus about what to use. One brand I kept hearing over and over: YSE Beauty, specifically the new Xtreme Glow Peptide Plumping Serum (I now carry the sample size in my bag!), Gel Oil Cleanser (Erica Taylor swears by it—enough said), and Problem Solver (founder Molly Sims actually hand delivered this to me when it first came out—I love how my friends know me so well). Another brand that came up a lot: SkinCeuticals—universally acknowledged, universally used, universally complained about. “It smells,” someone said, to a chorus of agreement. And still: they used it. Because it works. Snail Mucin Eye Cream. Augustinus Bader Rich Cream. U Beauty (and this for on the go). Medik8: the insider’s insider brand.

For the most part, I sat there, listening, nodding, understanding in real time the value of these authentic (non-sponsored/expert) recommendations. I confidently tossed in a few of my favorites: Counter Beauty’s Skin Twin Creamy Concealer. It camouflages my dark spots in a seamless, creaseless, miraculously natural looking way; Eighth Day Reparative Night Cream Treatment is honestly the most decadent thing I’ve ever put on my face-and it feels like it going on; Olaplex No 3 Plus Hair Treatment for softening/smoothing and Cyklar Body Cream for the compelling scent that trails me.

One assumes that age comes with a certain authority, or at the very least, baseline knowledge. I wish I had a beauty coach way back when. Someone who instructed me, step by step, insisting, “You’ll want to do this. Now.” OK, well maybe my beauty editor friends tried, but I guess I was busy… sun-bathing in the backyard.

The realization that while I cannot completely reverse the story my skin is telling, I can, perhaps, edit the next chapter. That “proactive” is not a word reserved for the young, but an attitude available at any point. I have always believed the best beauty hack isn’t just topical. It’s systemic. Physiological. Biological. Sleep, hydration that extends beyond a mist, strength, hormones, stress, the careful calibration of a body that has carried me this far and would like, if possible, to keep going. And, yes, still lots of sunshine. Some new well-researched additions to my arsenal includes: Midi Health Daily Fiber, BL+ The Serum, Glossier, and this Cortisol support supplement.

Also helping to draw attention away from the wrinkles: this statement-making beaded top, everyday flattering jeans, these Dorsey sparklers, pink corduroy, a great drop-waist (on-trend) skirt, this Polo Ralph Lauren jacket (that everyone wants!), and summer-ready, walk-everywhere sandals.

Perhaps the goal is not to look a lot younger, exactly—but to feel it. Fully, convincingly, from the inside out.